The Ballad of Dangerous Dave

The Ballad of Dangerous Dave

The room was thick with cigar smoke and fear, as the fish waited expectantly for Dave to appear. Then the door opens; Dave walks in with a grin; the main man is here, and the game can begin.

As the cash piles up in the centre of the table, the dealer begins counting it as fast as he’s able. The buy-ins now counted, the chips are passed round, the cards being shuffled make a comforting sound.

So the game begins, and they all get their cards; they take their first peek, squeezing them hard. The dealer announces the game is under way; now the decisions begin, to pass or to play.

One by one, the players all fold; only Dave calls, emotionless and cold. More players pass, all too scared to see, till there’s only one left, and that man is me. I look down at my cards, an ace and a five, surely I’m thinking, these cards must be live. My hand remains steady as I count out a raise, pleased with myself and my incredible play. I made my big push to go for the win, but Dave doesn’t flinch and announces, ‘All in!’

As quickly as a flash, the room starts to shrink; my eyes glaze over, and I struggle to think. My mouth goes all dry, sweat pours from my face; can Dave really have better than my little ace?

The minutes tick by; the decision’s so tough. Does he really have something, or is he trying a bluff? His reputation precedes him, but I need to stand tall. I push in my chips, announcing, “I call!”

I turn my cards over, half expecting to lose, but when Dave shows his cards, he is playing seven-deuce. The flop brings nothing, and neither does the turn; one card to come and one to be burned. Slowly it’s dealt; my ace must surely hold true, then the river is turned… oh shit, it’s a two! “You raised me with that!” I rant, and I rave; he replies very calmly, “I am Dangerous Dave”

I buy in again, and the next hand is dealt, the cards sliding silently across the green felt. I look down at my first card; my heart starts to race. The dealer has dealt me a lovely big ace. So I peek at my second with consummate care. Well, imagine my joy: he’s dealt me a pair.

My joy turns to heartache as the players all fold; only Dave stays in; this man is ice cold. But Dave doesn’t just call; he raises ‘all in’, but he’s up against aces; he simply can’t win.

I show him my ‘bullets’ whilst I’m licking my lips, as Dave turns over a Queen and a six. “You’ll need better than that, my dangerous friend; give me the money, for you it’s the end.”

Well, the flop brings a four, an ace, and a king, and I swear I can hear a fat lady sing. But this being Dave, the results are always in doubt; he’s famous for hitting incredible outs. The turn brings a Jack and the river a ten; oh fucking hell, he’s done me again. I stare at the flop and my terrible fate; he’s only gone and hit four to a straight.

So to all you poker players, though you be fearless and brave, pray you don’t run into Dangerous Dave.

Main Photo by Alexander Jawfox on Unsplash